"I wuv you mommy"

A couple of days ago was our most difficult day with the kiddos that we have had since bringing Little Man home. You see our sweet, easy going Little Man is teething. If you have ever had a teething baby then I don’t need to explain any more. But for the sake of those who haven’t had the great pleasure (insert sarcasm) of going through this, all you need to know is two words –no fun! I know I can’t compare kiddos because every child is different, but to be completely honest, we really didn’t even know when Big Brother was teething. We saw the drool and thought to check his mouth, and to our surprise there was a sprout of a tooth. He didn’t really complain about his teeth. SO Daniel and I were completely surprised when Little Man got up at 11:20pm the other night screaming bloody murder till about 4:20am and then back up at 6:30am. Ugh it was exhausting (reminded me of when he was first born getting up so much!)

So there is one part of why these past couple of days have been hard for us.

The other part has to do with Big Brother. He is two. VERY TWO at that. And ALL BOY. Seriously he loves running, throwing, smashing and getting messy. We have a parking garage in our condo and when it rains or snows there are puddles when we walk to the car. This boy doesn’t walk around them. He runs full force and splashes as hard as he can into those suckers (sometimes even on the way to church…oh joy!) Anyway, like I was saying he is two. The terrible two’s I believe they call them. And on top of that we are potty training. I never knew how hard this would be. He refuses to go number 2 (that’s a whole different story for another time) but has become a pro at number 1. He even goes by himself. But the last few days he has just basically refused to go at times. → Insert the whole point of this post. I was at my breaking point the other morning. Little Brother had us up for 5 hours and was still not feeling better. Big Brother was not listening to a word I was saying. NOT. A. WORD. Big Brother don’t climb on that, Big Brother put the milk jug back in the refridge, Big Brother put the juice back, don’t step on your brother, no movie today…and the list goes on. I wanted to cry---with no one to help. In the middle of disciplining Big Brother, I sat on the floor, discouraged at my parenting when Big Brother walked up to me, grabbed my face with those chubby little hands, puckered his slobbery lips and brought them to mine. With a sweet little innocent kiss he pulled away and said four simple words every mommy wants to hear “I wuv you mommy”. My heart dropped. I remembered (as if I forgot) that I loved him too. No matter what. No matter how frustrated he makes me at times. Or when he does not obey a single word I say. I still love him.

And then I think about how my heavenly Father (just remotely) feels. How he still loves me every single time I mess up. And y’all I mess up a lot! I am as stubborn as they come. He continually shows me grace even though I don’t deserve it.

To quote John Piper in one of his sermons:

"To be loved by Jesus Christ is literally an indescribable thing. It is deeper than any of us knows."

Thank you Lord for this reminder and for your love. Thank you for a sweet Big Brother that you have entrusted Daniel and I with for our time here (and of course Little Brother too).