Sunday, May 23, 2010

it's not always easy

being a parent is no cake walk. it's fun, exciting, rewarding but also frustrating, overwhelming and sometimes heartbreaking. heartbreaking is what we've been experiencing lately. before you panic and think oh no what's going on...maybe i should explain.
Eli is going through separation anxiety. the doctors have reassured us over and over (because i have asked quiet a few times the last 3 months) that this is perfectly normal. each sunday we walk in church and head to the nursery to leave the little guy. it doesn't happen every sunday, but often we walk in and he immediately starts crying. we put him on the ground and he starts crawling and reaching for us. okay what is a new mommy suppose to do? i know he has to learn but when he looks at me with those tear filled eyes, reaching for me to pick him up...ugh! i know this is a phase he is going through, and soon it will be over but it's hard at times. I want to tell him its okay...but he doesn't understand.

what's really interesting is I think he just doesn't like old people. no offense to any old person we know, but he seems to panic when any older person tries to say hello. we got in the elevator in our building the other day with 3 other more mature individuals. Eli looked at them, then back at daniel and I, and then back at them. then he immediately broke down and started crying squeezing my arm as tight as he could and turning his head so he couldn't see them anymore. as soon as we stepped off the elevator he stopped and started smiling and was happy again.

anyone out there have any advice or reassurance that their babies have gone through this at some point...this mama needs some feedback!



Dana and Chris Sheheane said...

ummm, girl....we are at 21 months and Wells STILL cries and screams mama no everytime we drop him off in the church nursery. once we turn the corner they promise he is happy as a lark. And we did mother' day out one day a week ALL year and same thing. And he LOVED his teachers. It's just major seperation anxiety and my doc says the less you stress the better. He said they "feel" it when you don't want to leave him. So the quicker you go once you drop him off and don't make a huge deal when you pick him up, it's better. He said the more you act like it's hard on you, the worse it is for him. It still breaks my heart, but I promise it's for the best and know you are doing the right thing by making the pick up and drop off quick and simple!

Dana said...

Yep, you just have to be strong! It has come and gone with all of our children, even with my 6 year old today (although that was pretty unusual). The worst criers are the moms that drag out the good-bye when I used to work in the nursery. A nice little, "good-bye, Mommy will be back to get you" is really what is best. It's good practice for when they're older too. It has taken me a while to learn to be tough with them, but it really is in their best interest. Hang in there!

Jamie and Joy George said...

I agree 100% with the 2 comments above, even though I'm not always the best at it. I do know that when we leave Breeson he cries a lot, but once I leave, he usually does pretty good. Every once in a while I'll sneak back to the nursery and peak in the door and he's just as happy as a can be. Of course Eli wants YOU to stay w/ him, what kid doesn't want his mommy to stay? But it's best to do the "tough love" and just leave him. We deal w/ this every week w/ the babysitter too. 50% of the time he does okay when she arrives, and then the other half he cries really hard as I'm leaving.

Andi said...

even though i am NOT a mommy (yet!), my experience with the newborn nursery at the church has taught us SO much. I agree with the women above...the mommy's who drop and go tend to create less stress on the babies. we also have a HUGE difference between babies who come every week and those whose parents aren't as consistent. Our advice (although it's not expertise) is that you keep it consistent every sunday and drop & go. he'll get there, i promise. he just needs routine, much like you've provided in every other area of his life. i love you so much!!

Davis said...

thanks y'all! i needed to hear it from others who have experienced it!